Dear Tech Support,  
     Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new  
     program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and  
     valuable resources. There was no mention of this phenomenon on the  
     product's website or on its packaging at the time of purchase.  In  
     addition, Wife 1.0 has installed itself into all my other programs,  
     launching during system initialization and causing it to monitor all my other  
     system activity.  Applications such as Pokernight 4.5 and Beerbash 2.2.1  
     no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to  
     purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I really enjoyed playing with Girlfriend  
     1.0 and I thought that upgrading would result in even greater enjoyment of  
     the program.  
     Now I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend1.0 but un-install does  
     not work. Can you help me? 
     Concerned User  
     Dear Sir -  
     This is a very common problem men complain about but it is mostly due to  
     the end user's product misconception. Wife 1.0 is a great product but it  
     is very high maintenance. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0  
     with the idea that Wife1.0 is a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.  In  
     actuality, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator  
     to run everything. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the  
     program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend  
     1.0 any more than you can go back to a 386 and DOS.  
     Some have tried to override the system by installing Girlfriend 2.0  
     over Wife 1.0, but they inevitably end up with greater problems than  
     the ones they were trying to cure. (Look in your manual under Warning!:  
     *Alimony/Child Support/Garnished Earnings).  
     Having inadvertently installed Wife 1.0 myself some time ago, I  
     recommend that you do what most users do, which is to keep Wife 1.0  
     and just deal with the situation. I also suggest that you read the  
     entire manual section on General Protection Faults (GPFs). Basically,  
     it tells you that you must assume all responsibility for faults and  
     problems that might occur. In most situations, the best course of action is to push  
     Shift-Apologize-Reset as soon as lock-up occurs. Generally, the system  
     will run smoothly for continued periods of time as long as you take the  
     blame for all GPFs.  

    Thank you for your query. If you have any additional questions, we recommend  
    that you call your mother.  

    Tech Support 

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